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FAQs

FAQs

We’ve provided a list of answers to questions we frequently receive regarding our services and other activities related to funerals. If you don't see the answer to your question here, feel free to contact us. We'd be happy to give you more information and clarify any of your concerns.

What do I do when a death occurs while out of town or away from home?

What do I do when a death occurs while out of town or away from home?

It’s important that you contact the local medical authorities first (as well as the police, if appropriate), and then make sure to give us a call as soon as possible. We will work with you to make the necessary arrangements to get you and your loved one back home as quickly and easily as possible. Calling us before you call a funeral home out of town will also help you to avoid duplication of efforts and fees.

What do funeral directors do?

What do funeral directors do?

A funeral director is a licensed professional who specializes in all aspects of funerals and related services. We are here to provide support to the family, guide the arrangement of visitations and funeral ceremonies, prepare the deceased according to the family’s wishes, and ensure that everything goes according to plan. We also arrange for the removal and transportation of the deceased throughout the process and assist families with any legal or insurance-related paperwork they might need to file. If someone is having a difficult time coping with a loss we can provide extra support and recommendations for professional help if needed.

What is an Agent Of Disposition?

What is an Agent Of Disposition?

An agent of disposition who has the person to make decision regarding what happens to your body after you die. If you have documented your funeral wishes in an Advance Directive or a preneed agreement, your agent of disposition becomes the responsible party for making sure those wishes are followed. Or, if you have not documented your wishes, this person has the authority to make decisions based on what they know of your ethics, values, and preferences. An agent of disposition takes precedence over next of kin, but you can appoint your next of kin as your agent of disposition. Refer to the Vermont Ethics Network for criteria about who would make a good agent of disposition.

I have a Health Care Agent, do I need an Agent Of Disposition?

I have a Health Care Agent, do I need an Agent Of Disposition?

Yes. The authority of a health care agent, sometimes called health care proxy, ends when you die. (Please note this is also the case for power of attorney, unless it is specifically documented as durable power of attorney.) The same person can be your health care agent and your agent of disposition, but you do need to document that the person has been appointed by you for both roles. You can do this on The Vermont Ethics Network Advance Directive. To be valid any designation of a health care agent and agent of disposition needs to be signed and dated by you and witnessed by 2 people who are not named and not related to you.

Can I personalize my service?

Can I personalize my service?

Absolutely! We love the experience of getting to know families and incorporating their loved one’s hobbies, activities, interests, and unique requests into meaningful and memorable services. Don’t hesitate to make a request because you think it might be too “out there” — we’re honored to work with you to create a service that truly reflects and celebrates your loved one’s life.

Can someone have a funeral if they don’t belong to a church?

Can someone have a funeral if they don’t belong to a church?

Absolutely! We have our “big room” which is designed for services, as well as a roster of non-denominational chaplains who can assist you in designing the ceremony. Or, you may already know someone who can lead services. It is also not uncommon for people to turn back to the faith traditions of their childhood and we have also hosted religious ceremonies in our space or helped coordinated services in the appropriate religious institution. Some families choose to have the service elsewhere, or conduct something at the graveside. No matter what you choose we are here to help you make the best decisions for your loved one and support you in carrying them out.

Can I still have viewing and funeral services with cremation?

Can I still have viewing and funeral services with cremation?

Definitely! In fact, we encourage you to do so. Choosing cremation only indicates how you’d like to care for your loved one after the service and doesn’t exclude you from celebrating and honoring their life in any way. Whether you’d like to arrange a funeral service before cremation, or wait and hold the service after the cremation, we’re happy to help you design a meaningful service to accompany the cremation.

Why have a viewing?

Why have a viewing?

A viewing — also known as a visitation, wake, or calling hours — can involve an open or closed casket. Having the body of their loved one present often helps family and friends to accept the reality of their loss, especially for those who may not have seen him or her in a while. The opportunity to come to terms with the death and say a final farewell is an important step on the road to healing.

Can we have a viewing if my loved one has donated organs or had an autopsy?

Can we have a viewing if my loved one has donated organs or had an autopsy?

Yes. Autopsies and organ donation do not affect your ability to have an open-casket viewing.

Should I bring my children to the funeral service?

Should I bring my children to the funeral service?

Yes. Children learn about death through watching the adults in their life react to loss. Bringing your child to the service allows them to experience death as a natural part of life and helps them figure out how they want to express whatever emotions they are feeling about the death. It is important for children to be allowed to express their grief and share in this important ritual. If you bring young children, explain beforehand what they will see and experience in clear and direct language. Allow them to ask questions and to lead the way with what they feel comfortable seeing and doing at the funeral.

What is the purpose of embalming?

What is the purpose of embalming?

In many cases, if you choose to have a viewing before cremation, embalming may be required. Embalming is a process used to sanitize and temporarily preserve the body of a person who has passed away. It also can enhance the appearance of a person that has suffered damage from an accident or illness. Temporarily preserving the body through embalming is one way we can give you and your family time to make personalized and meaningful arrangements.

Is embalming required by law?

Is embalming required by law?

No, embalming is not required by law. However, our funeral homes does not permit public viewing without embalming. If you opt to not use embalming, usually we can offer a private viewing prior to the burial or cremation.  

How long does the cremation process take?

How long does the cremation process take?

This will vary depending on the individual and the casket or container used, but usually takes about 3-5 hours.

How can I be sure that the remains I receive are those of my loved one?

How can I be sure that the remains I receive are those of my loved one?

Cremation of multiple people at the same time is illegal in the U.S. and many other countries, so the cremation chamber is not designed to hold more than one person at a time. In addition, cremation is a regulated process with strict procedures we follow to ensure we’re holding our services to the highest standard possible. All necessary paperwork and fees must be completed with local authorities, and then a checklist is completed at the crematory. A metal disk with a unique ID number accompanies your loved one from the time we receive the person throughout the cremation process, and after cremation occurs we attach the metal disk to the bag containing the ashes. Knowing the level of respect and meticulous care with which we treat your loved one, you can rest assured that you are receiving only your loved one’s ashes.

Where can I scatter my loved one's cremated remains? Are there any restrictions?

Where can I scatter my loved one's cremated remains? Are there any restrictions?

In general, the government does not regulate the scattering of ashes. Most public parks, including national parks, ask that you submit a formal request and may have restrictions on where you can scatter. If you wish to scatter on private land, consult the landowner first. In most cases, as long as you do your due diligence about checking for rules beforehand and are considerate, it’s more of a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. Be aware that ashes have a pH of about 11.4 and are very salty, so take special care not to scatter too much and not to scatter ashes in a delicate ecosystem.

What is green burial?

What is green burial?

Green burial is burial without embalming, in a casket or shroud made of natural, biodegradable materials, without the use of a vault or grave liner at a depth of 3.5 to 4 feet in a cemetery, or section of a cemetery, that is managed in an ecologically sound manner. Choosing this method of burial allows your body to return to the earth and nurture the land minimizing the environmental impact of your disposition.  Guare & Sons is proud to offer green burial services and stock a selection of green burial appropriate caskets and shrouds. Learn more here. Green burial is an option for anyone- even after organ donation or an autopsy. You can learn more about green burial at The Green Burial Council Website.

Can I participate in caring for the body of my loved one after death?

Can I participate in caring for the body of my loved one after death?

Yes. If you are present for the death you are welcome to assist the funeral director with transferring their body to the funeral director's vehicle. You are also welcome to make an appointment to come to the funeral home to bathe and dress your loved one.

What should I say if I get to speak at a funeral or memorial service?

What should I say if I get to speak at a funeral or memorial service?

Public speaking is the number one fear in the US, so many people find it daunting to be asked to speak at a funeral or memorial service. Remember, if your loved ones have asked you to speak it is because they trust you to do a good job. There are three key things that can help. 1) Knowing what is wanted. For example: are you going to tell the story of the deceased’s life? Read a special poem or verse? Or talk about your relationship with the deceased? 2) Practice! Write down what you are going to say. It can be difficult to keep the focus on the person who has died, try and make sure there are not too many sentences that start with “I” or “My” 3) Keep it short and simple. Funerals are emotionally draining keeping your remarks to under 5 minutes helps make sure that everyone hears what you say.

What is a columbarium?

What is a columbarium?

A columbarium is a place for the interment of urns containing cremated remains. They’re often located in mausoleums, chapels, or memorial gardens, and contain numerous small compartments, or niches, designed to hold urns.

What can I do to help the bereaved after services?

What can I do to help the bereaved after services?

The grieving process doesn’t end with the funeral, and it will take time for the bereaved to heal. The family will need your support for months to come, so make sure to check in on a regular basis. Drop a note, make a phone call, and continue to invite them when you make social plans; they’ll let you know if and when they are ready to participate. Reach out to the family on special occasions, like birthdays or anniversaries, especially during the first year following their loss.

What should I say when I run into the bereaved in public?

What should I say when I run into the bereaved in public?

What you’ll say depends upon whether or not you’ve already had contact with the bereaved. If you’ve already offered your condolences, or attended the visitation or service, simply greet the bereaved warmly and express an interest in their wellbeing. If this is your first meeting since the death and you’re in a public setting, it’s best not to bring up the death directly. Instead, say something like, “I understand these must be difficult days for you,” and perhaps ask about when might be a good time to visit, or suggest that you meet for lunch. Try to make concrete suggestions rather than asking what they may want or need.

Guare & Sons, Barber & Lanier Funeral Home
Phone: (802) 223-2751
30 School Street, Montpelier, VT

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